As he walked the road leading to the village square Wali recalled his childhood. His life used to be fun. He loved growing up and had so much hope for his future. He had a long list of things he hoped to achieve. A wish list. He recalled the list. He hoped to marry a beautiful woman. He did. Ticked. He hoped that he would be loved and respected by his peers and the villagers. They did. Ticked. What happened to all that now?
As he drew closer to the town square, he caught a glimpse of the church where he had spent many years of his life. He made a swift right, turning away from that building. Not wanting to see it again. Not wanting to be drawn into that world that now haunts his life. He doubled back and made another right, cutting through the huts that made up the weekly Wednesday market. He avoided the eyes of familiar faces and voices that shouted out at him, inviting him into the familiar houses where familiar conversations were shared over familiar bottles of beer or glasses of palm wine. The voices bounced off his ear drums and echoed away. They sounded like shrills of a terrified infant drowned by the heavy pouring of a waterfall. Wali was not interested in meeting people. He was not interested in talking to anyone but Brother Uche. God bless brother Uche for delivering him from sin, for breaking the yoke that has dominated his life, for freeing him from the guilt of...He's thoughts trailed off. he flicked his mind back to his father and his brothers.
The second son of seven children Wali was brought up to in the church. His father was a travelling man. He was a well respected for his knowledge and travels. He was a man full of stories of other lands and other peoples. He always insisted that even in his absence Wali and his siblings must go to school. They must have a worthy education. For a man that was never there, the cloud of his own accomplishments were an enormous pressure for his children. To criticise him they must prove their own worth...by putting a roof over their children's head. They must surpass his achievements by being loving and dotting fathers. They must stand taller than him in a community where wealth was not measured by earthly possessions but my respect and the esteem to which one is held by his peers and kindred. Wali's father had a name. He had a voice. He had standing.
Quite recently Wali had started wondering what his life would have been like if his father had not spent so many of his days away from home. He was beginning to grow angry at his father. But was it anger he felt? Was it guilt? Guilt for not being able to do better...by his wife and his children? Or was it the other stuff? The sins of his past prompted by his need for a father in his life
His brothers still were all married living with their wives. His sister too. His father too. Why did his fortune turn out differently? Is it because they are all still blind to the truth? He's is probably seeing this in a new light. A light shone on him through revelation of the truth by Brother Uche. "Know the truth and the truth shall set you free from captivity", that's what brother Uche told him. This is the truth and he's breaking away from his captivity. the bondage of being straddled with the seeds of evil. the fruits of demonic spirits.
He forged ahead, skirting the puddles and animal droppings that strew the foot paths and abandoned market stalls and benches. Head bowed, eyes focused on the feet that splashed water and mud below. His mind racing in all directions. His thoughts refusing to focus on any one thing. He avoided thinking of his wife, his children. He dreaded to think of his father. He was too frightened to think of his father in law. he forged ahead deaf to the birds chipping in near by trees. He forged ahead blind to the dogs copulating a meter ahead. The dogs squirmed and darted off into the next aisle.
He did not see the group of women emerging from the corner ahead. He carried on. His mind raced back to the days of his youth. To the feelings of joy he had as a young man, to the promise of life, the talents of youthfulness, the dreams and the aspirations. The hopes of dreams fulfilled. Inwardly he smiled mockingly at his own stupidity. He should have known that non of that was going to last. He should have know that these things are not allowed. Not in this village, not in this town. He should have known that men marry women and had children, and raise a family.
"Wali!!!!" the three young woman called out in unison. He startled at their muffled screams. He looked up at them. They were right there in his face. He had not seen them. he had not heard them approaching. The tears in his eyes blurred his vision. Of course they knew who he was. He could not make out their faces nor their voices. In a moment he stared at them, unable to believe he had not seen nor heard them approach until he was right there on top of them. He would have switched directions again, double back, maybe only had he seen or heard them. He came this way to avoid people seeing him like this.
"is everything ok, uncle Wali?" one of them summoned the courage to ask. It was his niece, his brother Forsah's daughter. He ignored their inquisitive stares and swept pass them, taking full paces as he covered the road ahead. He needed to clear things up before word got to his father, before his wife got to her father's compound. The thought of his father in-law towering over him with a machete in hand sent shivers down his spine. He broke into a run. the young women were aghast.
"I must get home to my father. Something terrible has happened." Quickly they started again.
Wali was horrified. I can't hide. I can't keep running like this. I am Wali, for god's sake and people know me, he thought to himself. He slowed down, this time keeping his eyes on the road ahead and not at his feet like some terrified child. if anything was out there on the road ahead he would want to see it before it runs into him. He wiped the tears from his eyes and raised his chin. Be a man, he said to.
